An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with
St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the
most awful bloodcurdling screams.
Don't worry about that", says St. Peter, "it's only someone
having the holes put into her shoulder blades for wings." The
old lady
looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the
conversation.
Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.
"Oh my God", says the old lady, "now what is happening?"
Not to worry", says St. Peter, "She's just having her head
drilled to fit the halo."
I can't do this", says the old lady, "I'm going to hell."
"You can't go there", says St. Peter. "You'll be raped and sodomized."
"Maybe so", says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes
drilled for that!"