Corporate Lessons !

[Mac.]

Corporate Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800
and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob
the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.



Corporate Lesson 2

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand down to her
leg. The
nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand
slide down to her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father,
remember Psalm129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving
at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church,
the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek,
further up you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.



Corporate Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk. "I want to be in
the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof!
She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.



Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
him,"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested. A fox
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.



Corporate Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," the turkey sighed, but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull."
They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after
eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was soon spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.