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Mac. wrote:Will put a new one everyday till I either get bored or cant find any good ones.............
Mac. wrote:A man died and went to heaven.Mac. wrote:** Always check email address b4 hitting send button **
A man checked into a hotel in Australia. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without realizing hiserror, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject : I've Arrived
Date: June 3, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. It is damn hot down here !!
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have! moved twice telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Tony Blair's ?" asked the man.
" Tony's clock is in God's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
not as good as the others but still funnyMac. wrote:A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They
happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are
these Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called
condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of
that in health class at school." He looks over the display and
picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this
package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for
Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who
are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday,
TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks,
picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those
are for married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for
March....."
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