Ahhh it was the happiest day of my life, arrived at the church and the wife was waiting at the altar, walked up the aisle, kissed her on the cheek smiled, then closed the coffin lid.
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm
count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home
and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's
office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the
previous day.
The doctor asked "What happened?"
The man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but
still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with
the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arlene, the lady next door and she tried too, first with
both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her
knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"
the old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar
open."
Catch ya later
Cpt