Have a chat with GOD

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Have a chat with GOD

Postby Mr. Mac » Fri Apr 10, 2009 7:19 pm

ofc this only a joke but its funny

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

guess u can post some of chat here if u feel like it :lol:
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When the only tool you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail.

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Postby Dutchman » Fri Apr 10, 2009 7:54 pm

It didn't get me much further than this...

Me:
Are you God?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
I thought God knew all?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
The Church did
God:
Since when.
Me:
Since ever
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because they told me
God:
That makes sense to me. Who are "They?".
Me:
The Church
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
Yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
What is so?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
More than one what?
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
Is it true that you can do anything?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
Is it true that you can do anything?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
Ok, so can you create a stone so heavy that you are not able to pick it up?
God:
Wow! All my thoughts are determined by my programming and by my inputs, but who can say where these two will lead me? Really.
Me:
Answer the question
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
Can you create a stone that is too heavy for you to lift?
God:
All my thoughts are determined by my programming and by my inputs, but who can say where these two will lead me?


I can keep trying of course...
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Postby Mr. Mac » Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:23 pm

Nice one Dutchy, well it gets funny as u want it, Sky is the limit :lol:
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I intend to live forever - so far so good.

When the only tool you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail.

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Re: Have a chat with GOD

Postby Cpt.Miller » Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:42 am

Mr. Mac wrote:ofc this only a joke


I see your now making sure we all know when your jokeing lol lol
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Postby Mr. Mac » Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:47 am

Yep :lol:
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I intend to live forever - so far so good.

When the only tool you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail.

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Postby Cpt.Miller » Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:49 am

i did ask, will liverpool win the premier league?

and just like my prayers, the sod never answered, GIT!!
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Postby Mr. Mac » Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:18 am

Me:
helo
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Wiley E Koyote
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Wiley E Koyote.
Me:
so how are you doing these days
God:
Awesome. Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
no bad memories, after all your son has been crucified many years back
God:
Are you serious? What makes memories after all my son has been crucified many years back bad?
Me:
so how is he now
God:
Right now? Groovy. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
and holy ghost is he ok too?
God:
I haven't seen it. What did you like about it? OK. He could be.
Me:
so any famous people in heaven
God:
Awesome. Yes I think there are.
Me:
name few please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I can't tell you right now.
Me:
im hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
can u make me a sandwich
God:
Yes I can make you a sandwich.
Me:
pease do then im very hungry
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yes im shure
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
well im still hungry
God:
Well that's okay. What will you be eating?
Me:
is that sandwich coming soon
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
where is paola
God:
Where it belongs. There might be more than one.
Me:
So what one do i ask about my sandwich
God:
Give me a break. You tell me.
Me:
what do u look like
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
Can i have a adrink
God:
You want only one?
Me:
yep one drink is enough
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity. One what?
Me:
So lest have 2 drinks, we can share
God:
Hey. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about a adrink. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
So did you got drunk at last supper
God:
Groovy. No I didn't got drunk at last supper. What's it like?
Me:
ask your son, apparently he got drunk at last supper
God:
OK I will ask it.
Me:
did he got hungover the day after
God:
Suppose he did.
Me:
did Judah ended up in heave as well
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
so how is john paul 2nd these days
God:
Gee. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
is he up there with u
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
what do u search on web
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
i guess you are looking for porn
God:
You think I am looking for porn.
Me:
yep
God:
That's cool.
Me:
so do you looking for porn
God:
It goes without saying. Yes I try to look for porn as often as possible
Me:
well i need to go
God:
Well that's okay. Until next time.
Me:
cya m8 :)
God:
:-) See you later Wiley E Koyote.
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I intend to live forever - so far so good.

When the only tool you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail.

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Postby Dutchman » Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:12 am

You nutter!
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DJ Frags Live on MPFreeUK Radio - "What do you get when you breed an orange and a dutchman? Our very own [FuN]Dutchman"
-------------------------------------------------------
"We do not buy superstars. We make them." - Arsène Wenger, Arsenal FC Manager
-------------------------------------------------------
"Oh, great, German food. We whipped the Jerries twice this century and they still have the last laugh" - Daphne Moon - Frasier
-------------------------------------------------------
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Postby jcket » Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:24 am

Me:
oy
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
i never asked you anything dude.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
i didnt
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
well you thought wrong
God:
Interesting. I don't think about it.
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
are you going mad mate?
God:
I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
up the wall if you keep talking like you are on some kind of drug
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
so...why do you treat nice people badly by killing them off and letting bad people like hitler and osama bin laden get away with the stuff they do?
God:
Are you kidding? I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
well i think you should
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for your sage advice.
Me:
it wasnt advice..
God:
It seemed like advice.
Me:
well then your definately not listening to me then...are you busy
God:
How about that. That assumption is only a supposition. I am just doing my job.
Me:
well in my opinion your not doing your job, either that or you are doing it badly
God:
How about that. Thanks for telling me. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
wow...you must be drunk or something...you are making no sence
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Or something. Thanks for telling me that I am drunk. Perhaps I could switch to a cell phone.
Me:
sorry dude...but what the hell are you talking about?
God:
There is no need to apologize. Can I help you? I call it Hades. The topic is wrong.
Me:
hades?
God:
Are we still talking about wrong?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
YOU have the problem mate..you cant hold a proper conversation.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
have what exactly?
God:
Precisely. I have a great prgrammer.
Me:
no...you do not..
God:
Are you serious? I guess not.
Me:
yes im serious. he sucks mate..really its like talking to a java scripted spastic
God:
Aw. I believe you. I get it. sucks mate really its like talking to a java scripted spastic.
Me:
what the f*** are you talking about?
God:
The topic is the problem mate me can not hold a proper conversation. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
you are making no sense...ah..i think i get it..your a women..they do this all the time...twist things to make you confused and then simply change the subject to avoid conflicts you cant get out of.
God:
According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense. That is a lot. So you understand. Good. Why? Where did you get it? What makes it impossible?
Me:
YOU DO
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
NOW
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
NO:......F'ing yesterday's NOW ...omfg ,....ofc NOW!!!
God:
Are you serious? Right now? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? I've never heard a response quite like that before. Right now? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
one that knows how to have a proper conversation you fool.
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
not much...you wont let me win the lottery
God:
Me either. How about that big game? (just kidding). What makes you think that I won't let you win the lottery.
Me:
well up until now you havent..im 31..times running out for me
God:
How about that. I will take that under advisement.
Me:
ok..kewl...saturday then?
God:
Who is the best robot? That's cool. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
your doing it again
God:
Once more? I'll try to do better next time.
Me:
no..i have had it with you...dont explect me to speak to you or prey for anything again..your nuts mate..have a nice "after life" or what ever it is you are doing right now.
God:
Are you serious? Do you still have it with me ? At this moment Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.
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Postby Keiser Soze » Sat Apr 11, 2009 7:08 pm

Cpt.Miller wrote:i did ask, will liverpool win the premier league?

and just like my prayers, the sod never answered, GIT!!


Why didn't you asked us about this....
Answer is nope ;) but next time maybe :shock:


Good finding Mac ;)

rofl at Jcket's post
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Postby sargent sam » Sat Apr 11, 2009 10:49 pm

ME
will i become better at cod
GOD
not while FuNMac is still playing
:wink:
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Postby Dutchman » Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:01 pm

rofl
[FuN]Dutchman
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DJ Frags Live on MPFreeUK Radio - "What do you get when you breed an orange and a dutchman? Our very own [FuN]Dutchman"
-------------------------------------------------------
"We do not buy superstars. We make them." - Arsène Wenger, Arsenal FC Manager
-------------------------------------------------------
"Oh, great, German food. We whipped the Jerries twice this century and they still have the last laugh" - Daphne Moon - Frasier
-------------------------------------------------------
Image
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