Out of Office Messages

[Wolfeh]

I am currently out at a interview for a decent job and will reply to
you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.


I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you!


You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything
at all.


Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain
removed so that I may be promoted to management


I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send
me until I return from vacation on 20/9. Please be patient and your
mail will be deleted in the order it was received.


Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for
the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your
message.


The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try
sending again.



Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know
that you got this message.


I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.


Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your
PC for my response.


Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to
leave me any messages.


I've run away to join a different circus.


I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Davina' instead of 'Dave'.

[junkster]

/me just thinks of the fun I could have in work with some of these!

[caz]

I'm thinking some of those new job replies would have been good to put on my out of office assistant when I was chucked out of work a couple of weeks ago!

Sorry I can't reply to your message but I've moved to bigger and better things. I'm sure my boss in his eternal wisdom will give you some half-baked response which will be totally incorrect then proceed to blame my departure on his incompetence. I apologise on his behalf for being so thick but at least he can pretend to be in charge of things now that I have gone!