Intelligent Quotes

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Intelligent Quotes

Postby Death Stalker UK » Fri Dec 24, 2004 5:49 am

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," -- Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." -- John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another" -- George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version," -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

“If we let the loggers go in and cut down all the trees we wouldn’t have a problem with forest fires.” – George Bush



:D :D
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." -Albert Einstein
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Postby deadmonkey » Wed Dec 29, 2004 3:13 pm

Ho Ho. Some good ones there.
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Postby Geddy » Wed Dec 29, 2004 4:03 pm

Our president is one smooth talker... :?
The point of the journey is not to arrive.......


Ik hou van kaas :)
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Postby Frank Sniper » Wed Dec 29, 2004 5:49 pm

I've noticed George pausing a lot when he speaking nowadays. I'm thinking it's not for breath :wink:
Drowned on Phreeks while making sandcastles too near the waves..R.I.P 23/08/05 was always doomed anyway
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Postby deadmonkey » Wed Dec 29, 2004 6:04 pm

No, apparently that's cos he's dying!

http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2004/12/1707988.php
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Postby King Arthur » Wed Dec 29, 2004 7:23 pm

Thanks Death Stalker!

Those were great! I had a good laugh!

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
- Napoleon

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
- Clarence Darrow
(I guess George W. Bush kinda proves these two...lol)



Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity.... and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, and there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence. Yet, U.S. government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
- David McIntosh
I think... therefore I am... confused.
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Postby Freebie » Thu Dec 30, 2004 5:08 pm

you can find a few similar things on www.laughingmyarseoff.co.uk.

There's no pics, but you may want to screen it from kids as there may be some language present.

Forgive the spam - but it's one of my neglected sites :O)
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Postby bobo » Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:09 am

Come on DeadMonkey just because bush likes to wear a bra every one gets s upity and has conspiracy theroies
:lol: :twisted:(SPK)BOBO :twisted: :lol:

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